11 years ago...

Happy Anniversary to my wonderful husband, I love you now more than ever! Thanks for 11 great years!

FYI

The sun did come out yesterday in between the rain showers, but at least we got a glimpse and we even woke up to some faint sunshine this morning! YAY!! I love this quote from Elder Bednar, "the tender mercies of the Lord are real and that they do not occur randomly or merely by coincidence. Often, the Lord’s timing of His tender mercies helps us to both discern and acknowledge them."

And one more, "I believe I have come to better understand that the Lord’s tender mercies are the very personal and individualized blessings, strength, protection, assurances, guidance, loving-kindnesses, consolation, support, and spiritual gifts which we receive from and because of and through the Lord Jesus Christ."

If we look for the Lord's hand in our life we will definitely see it. I really want to read this new book,

Here is a quote from it, " Sometimes the Lord sends his blessings in such a highly unusual, dramatic, or precisely timed manner that it's as if the Lord 'signs' the blessing personally so we know with certainty that it came from Him."

Doesn't that sound so good?

Anyway, Happy Friday to you all and look for the Lord's hand in your life today!

Wanting....

Chas wants one of these:

Brooklyn wants one of these:

I want one of these:

And every year for Christmas Brady asks Santa for one of these:

Too bad our yard is only this big:

But I would soooo LOVE some green grass and sunshine right now!!! Someday we will live out of town and get some of those things, but for now green grass and sun is all I am wanting! (Although my family in Canada still have 3 feet of snow!)

Throwin in the towel.

This will inevitably be long, just a warning...
Sometimes don't you just feel like throwin' in the towel? Throwing your hands in the air and sayin' I am done!? I hope I am not the only one who feels like this ocassionally. The thought that has crossed my mind 100 times a day lately is " I'm down, stop kicking me!" But this week I have felt a lot better about things so there is a silver lining, well it still may be a little gray, but a lining none the less.
Last week we went in for our first OB appt. and found out that there was no heartbeat, again, and that they needed to do further testing. So long story short, I had a partial molar pregnancy, which I had never even heard of, (look it up online, it's to hard to explain myself.) found that out on Tues, Wed went back to the Dr. and set up a D&C for Thurs. Talk about a crazy week. It was much more involved than the last one I had back in 2005, they had to knock me totally out and had the whole surgery thing going on. I had to be on some medication for 3 days that made me have really bad cramps, trying to get everything back down to normal size again, I guess it was twice as big as it should have been, let me tell you that was not fun. So I laid on the couch for 3 days, which was not fun either! Definitely made me feel so grateful for my health and that I can get up and work and exercise and do whatever I want. So there have been a couple real bummers about this whole deal: 1. obviously we no longer have a baby coming in Sept.
2. as soon as my HCG levels are back down to 0 they have to remain at 0 for 6 months, which translates to no getting pregnant at least for 7 more months. My levels were at 560,000 and as of Friday were at 3290, so they are going down which is a good sign. (which explains why I have been on an emotional roller coaster ride!)
3. A couple more weeks and I would have been over the morning sickness!
This has actually hit me a little harder than I thought it would. Today in church there was a baby blessing and I got a little teary- eyed thinking about what has happened. I really have taken for granted the ability to have kids when I wanted. Now I don't even have the choice for awhile, makes me sad. I definitely have a new found empathy for those women who have such a hard time getting pregnant and have to wait a long time for their little one to arrive. Makes me feel very grateful for the ones I do have, and I guess when number 5 finally gets here, whenever that will be, we will be even more grateful for him/her. What a blessing it is to have children! and the joy that they bring into my life.
After all that Chas has been through in the last couple of months and then this to throw in the mix, I have felt a little overwhelmed. But it is reassuring to know that the Lord is in control and can get us through the hard times. I am grateful for wonderful friends who have helped me so much the last few months! and for all the prayers and support we have felt from family and friends.
Now I know you are waiting to hear about the silver lining... We went to meet with the cardiologist on Monday and he said Chas' heart looks good and we don't have to come back for 6 months! YAY!! We are so glad his heart is not trying to jump out of his chest anymore and is actually calming down a little. He only has 2-3 small episodes a day and that has been so nice, not to have to worry about that anymore. So there is always something to be grateful for, and as long as we are doing what we should the Lord promises to bless us. We have felt his Hand in our lives and acknowledge all the blessings we receive from Him.
This has been long and kind of depressing, but it always makes me feel better to get things written down and then I feel like I can move on.
So I guess one good thing is I will still be skinny during the hot summer! ( well skinnier than 7 months pregnant anyway!) It will be a lot more comfortable to go camping with the kids for sure. Enjoy your children, the ones you have or the ones you may be getting soon, they are such a blessing from our Heavenly Father and make our lives so much the better.