A long Week

This is going to be a hard post to write, but I don't want to forget this experience.  On February 3 we found out we were pregnant with baby #6, we had decided that if the Lord wanted us to have another one we wanted it to be close in age to Carson, since he is kind of a loner at the end. We were really excited, but I knew it would be a long 12 weeks before getting into see the dr. as we had lost another baby in July. Fast forward. Friday March 21 I started spotting a little. I tried to be optimistic as it wasn't much.  We left to go to Boise for the youth temple trip, we stayed the night with Keeton and Melissa.  Saturday morning we went to watch Dallin play soccer, went to DI and did a couple of other things.  We got to go to the temple with Brooklyn, (it was her first time)  it was so wonderful to be in the temple with her and feel the spirit there so strong.  After the temple we all went out for lunch and it was all I could do to keep it together as I was spotting some more, it was awful.  After lunch we went back to Keeton's, got the kids and drove home.  Saturday night I told Chas I was pretty sure we were going to lose the baby and I broke down.  I really just couldn't contain it anymore, I couldn't believe that I was 11 wks. along and just now something was happening, I thought I was pretty much past the danger point.  It was a long night with a lot of tears.  Sunday I woke up and there was nothing, nothing happened all day and so I had begun to be hopeful that everything was still ok.  Monday afternoon we went in for our Dr. appt. and there was nothing there, an empty amniotic sac, no baby, no nothing.  What in the HECK!  Our Dr. explained that it was something called a blighted ovum, what am I? the person who has all the weird things happen, that nobody has ever heard of.  Molar pregnancy, blighted ovum.  Who knows what these are?  Anyway I can't say that I was super shocked, but still disappointed.  She told us that with that type of thing your body does not get rid of it naturally, so we scheduled a D&C for the next day.  Another one! The third one I have had to have!  Anyway we went in for surgery the next day,  I felt kind of numb honestly.  I tried to not burst out in tears every few minutes, but I did a few times and that's ok.  Surgery went fine.  I remember waking up and I was crying, even before I was really awake,  I remember thinking, "your not even awake, how can you be crying already?" I cried a lot the next couple of hours before we went home and even a lot when we got home.  I am so thankful for good friends who sent flowers, watched my kids, brought dinner and came to see how I was feeling.  I feel so blessed to be surrounded by such great people who are true disciples of Jesus Christ and help to "bear one another's burdens."  It was actually good timing because my Mom & Dad got here Wednesday and that was so nice to have them here. I wasn't supposed to do anything for 24 hours and light "work" for a week, they were such great help physically and emotionally it was nice to have my Mom here.  It really has been a rough go, I am thankful for my testimony that I can rely on my Heavenly Father when things are tough.  I still am a little emotional when I think about it. I was so sure it would be fine this time and we could be happy with our 6 kids and move on. Now we have come to a different point.  We will see what the Dr. has to say about having more kids as they think this one was a molar pregnancy as well.  My health and the health of the baby now have become a major consideration as we go on from here.  I trust the Lord is watching out for us and He will let us know in His time what we are to do.